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In exchange for its constant demands to protects us from the myriad slings and arrows of outrageous fortune that life throws us, the ego gives us security, a place to crash and food in our belly and sex. It also gives us the skills of diplomacy and tact that allow us to preen the egos of others in order to share a crowded winter cave with other potentially hostile companions. The subconscious compromises with the interconscious mind to allow us to share food with others, to find a satisfactory mate that others in the social group approve of, and allows us to sleep knowing that we have found sufficient food to last the winter. The ego is perhaps the finest mechanism ever invented by evolution. It does for the mind what the immune system does for the body. It fights our wars, maintains our integrity. It is as untiring as the heart, and as reflexive as a knee-jerk. It is as impulsive as an erection, as explosive as an orgasm, and about as demanding and unpredictable as a cramp. It is intimately perceptive to the needs of those parts of the mind it serves, and incredibly subtle at orchestrating the myriad needs of body, subconscious, conscious and interconscious minds.
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The ‘I’ is the ego – the ‘I’ is the sum of the four aspects of mind – but it is essentially a mirage, or illusion. Though it is critical to fully understand how the ego works, ultimately it is more important to realises that it is just a product of the mind. But before the reader grows hopelessly despondent with this revelation, let us step back a few paces. As was said previously, the ego is one of the finest products of evolution. It is so smooth in operating that when it works properly, we are not aware of it. The only time we are aware of it is when we are in a crisis of conflicting urges. We might want to kill someone because they have wronged us, but we know that we cannot, or should not, or are unable to. Or in another circumstance, we might want to flee from an unsavoury circumstance yet know we must stand and fight. Fortunately for us ‘civilised’ folk, these conflicts ‘to be or not to be’, or ‘to flee or not to flee’ are regular conflicts which the ego deals with aplomb. It is hard to rattle a mature ego. Don’t forget, it has dealt with the hardest time of all – growing up! It has seen childhood wars on the playground, witnessed titanic excursions into the deep ends of swimming pools when learning to swim, and undergone the brave foray of swallowing tadpoles as part of adolescent initiations. It has seen our Odyssean struggles with the sirens of puberty and overcoming onanism. It has gold medals pinned to itself for overcoming subconscious fears that would make Schwarzenegger proud. It is only when we dare to challenge the ego’s authority that the proverbial hits the fan. Conflicts, especially prolonged mental conflict, are what makes for good ego drama. Such ‘dark nights of the soul’ occur when we are forced to endure what our ego considers unreasonable. These might include death of a loved one, victory by an enemy, divorce, bankruptcy, imprisonment, becoming maimed or disabled, raped, tortured, etc. Individual egos react differently, depending on their resilience, but none are immune.
The ego during this crisis period is said to ‘wobble’ or becomes unstable. Everything appears out of kilter. ‘The world is out of joint,’ said Shakespeare. The Buddhist use the word samsara which describes a universe ‘out of sync’ or unstable, and this is similar to what is involved during an ego crisis. If the ego cannot accommodate the new experiences – if it can’t swallow the bitter pill of a new reality forced upon it - it remains unbalanced and the proper communication between body, subconscious, conscious and interconscious minds become distorted. We say things like ‘I can’t live with myself!’, not realising that the ‘myself’ we are talking about is the ego – that it is our ego that we can’t live with. We go crazy - doing irrational acts of transferred rage and hysteria directed at everything and everyone - and for a while our world is turned upside down. As a consequence of unresolved ego crisis, people have nervous breakdowns, suffer serious illness, or check into rehab. The wards of psychiatric hospitals are replete with those unable to re-centre their ego and keep the wheels of the mind smoothly turning.
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As we have already said, the ego arises at birth and has at that time only one overriding motivation - hunger - to reach to the breast and suckle, or in egg-laying animals, to find food. In mammals, bonding with a parent(s) is crucial for ego development. As we have seen, the ego begins to form by conflict over physical needs. A hungry baby that cries out has its needs (and ego) satisfied when fed by its mother. Some psychologists believe that this primal movement toward the breast is one of love, but without trying to sound trite, what’s love got to do with it? An infant’s search for the breast is simply an instinctual urge to feed. It is an instinct, not an emotion. The emotion ‘love’ arises secondarily to the urge, through bonding with the mother. It is only in conflict, between needs and having them met or not, where emotions arise, but this is discussed in more detail in the next chapter. Suffice to say, where there are no emotions, there is only needs. And where there are no needs, there is only awareness. But this too is discussed later.
As the individual grows, the requirements of the subconscious and conscious minds grow more complex and their demands create not only physical but also emotional (‘I need praise’) and mental (‘I need acceptance, attention, agreement from others’) needs. To grow, the ego separates itself from its maternal bond by creating, as already said, its own ego body. This ego body (our image of our physical Self, what we see in the mirror with our mind’s eye) is a mental chimera that exists through separation (‘I need that object/person in order to be happy’) in time (‘I will only be happy when this or that happens’). Thus the ego is a four-dimensional persona we have of ourselves in time and space. We can experiment about what or where is the ego body by asking yourself what part of your body is the real you? Is it your arm, or your leg, or your brain, or your heart? Is it one or multiples, or all? Many philosophers, from the Buddha to Bart Simpson, have pondered this eternal question - Who am I? Whatever the truth to this puzzle, the ego quickly learns that in order to survive I has to convince us that it is real and that we and it are the same thing. Why should it do this, you ask? Quite simply, for its, and therefore our, survival. The ego is our body guard, our chaperone, the concierge in the lobby of our mind, our pal. But if we choose to ask the ego to step aside, it is like asking a dog to let go of a bone – a fight is what normally happens.
‘I think, therefore I am’ implies complicity in the belief that ‘I’ only exit when I think, and therefore I and my ego are one and the same, whereas in truth we are everything except who we think we are. But that doesn’t not mean that we are nothing without our ego-derived thoughts. There is a subtle difference between thinking and awareness; the former requires cognitive actions, whereas the latter does not. Antonio Damasio, a well respected American psychiatrist, coined the term ‘Descartes’ error’ to describe the flawed notion that we are the sum of our thoughts and that we identify ourselves the ‘I’ with these thoughts. That we may be greater than the sum of our thoughts is, he suggests, a little closer to the truth.
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The vitality and creativity of an adult person depends on the quality of the dialogue between the ego and the Self. This dialogue develops from childhood usually by the parental mother acting as a mirror for the creation of the child’s ego. The ego establishes itself first by mirroring, then establishing independence from the mother. This egocentric stage is essential for the infant’s ego to form an identity that is separate from the external world, and to thus to form ego boundaries (what have been coined ‘virtual reality’ paradigms) and for symbolic play[iii],[iv]. Maternal care allows the ego to be projected on to the infant’s body; an ego-self dialogue then develops its roots in the bodily experience of the infant as it interacts with the world and consequently, the ego body is born.
Ego development can be compromised as a result of early overstimulation in childhood or inadequate or inconsistent caring by parent(s). Post-natal depression, marital disharmony, drug/alcohol and physical and mental abuse also cause major distortions in the establishment of the ego-self dialogue and ego boundaries and contributes to unhealthy ego boundaries later in life[v]. Poor ego development can also lead to body-image distortions and difficulties in the regulation of tension and stress, resulting in such symptomatic expressions as eating disorders, compulsive exercise, substance abuse, and the creation of physical danger, as a step toward integration of mind and body as well as a defensive antidote to pain[vi]. Unresolved childhood trauma results in various degrees of ‘ego-grasping’ which manifests along a continuum of irritability, anger, depression, low levels of impulse control, distortions in reality perception and extensive operation of immature defence mechanisms[vii],[viii].
Developmentally, the body and the ego have an integral, mutual relationship. This becomes particularly important during adolescence when the body matures physically while at the same time cognition, self-reflection, and social relations develop. A subtle part of the ego which appears around adolescence is what is called the archaic or primordial layer of the ego. This archaic layer appears to shine through the basic fault in the psyche opened by childhood trauma. This inner Self (what has been referred to as the ‘guardian angel’) appears to form in many traumatic situations as a buffer for the ego against total annihilation. This led many psychoanalysts like Jung and Ferenczi to hypothesise about a spiritual (non-physical) Self which is indestructible, regardless of internal or external trauma. It may well be that this inner sanctuary links the ego-experience with a spiritual aspect of the mind not ordinarily available to consciousness[ix].
What is most interesting about the ego’s development is that its maturation is not a temporal phenomenon (i.e. age does not normally infer ego maturity). The development of verbal, social, and adaptive skills over time is not as pivotal to ego maturation as is overcoming psychological trauma. Examples from experiences of entry into adulthood in societies where initiation rites (rites of passage) are still practised (e.g. participating in inter-tribal wars, virginal deflowering by elders, ritual male circumcision) results in more rapid ego maturity[x]. Rites of passage are emotionally-intense rituals which are designed to transform the belief systems of individuals. These rites are performed at important stages of an individual’s life, such as puberty, marriage, birth of children, old age and dying. Typically the rites of passage begin by separating the person from their social network. Without the accustomed social support they begin to feel fear, especially fear of the unknown. They are then taught their society’s mythology by the presiding elder. In the second stage of the ritual they begin to undergo intense emotional experiences and learn to interpret them according to their society’s values. Sometimes psychedelic drugs are used. The individual then begins to mourn the loss of their grandiose sense of self, which leads to the formation of a more mature and realistic self-image. Finally the individual constructs a new conceptual world-view and is re-integrated into his community. However, such rites of passage do not necessarily confer individual ego maturity – merely the ego’s social maturity. Notwithstanding this, many contemporary psychoanalysts associate rites of passage akin to what the Spanish mystic John of the Cross described as the ‘dark night of the soul,’ which is commonly experienced by individuals whose ego is in major crisis. The moments when we are stripped bare of our illusions and confront the realities of our existence, we introduce important questions: Who am I? What is my purpose here? Where am I going? Jung believed these questions important in one’s development toward self-discovery.
All human religions/philosophies can either hinder the maturation of the ego or result in ego maladaptation/malaise. In societies where rite of passage is practiced, the death-rebirth struggle is a part of the psychological transformation. During this process, enormous amounts of destructive and sexual material rise into consciousness. Immature and sorrowful beliefs and attitudes, buried in the subconscious mind since childhood, are re-experienced. When the youth successfully assimilates this stage, they pass into transpersonal experiences of bliss, cosmic unity, or other features of higher consciousness[xi]. The rite of passage at adolescence is a process about learning to overcome and sublimate infancy trauma by symbolic death. Their rebirth is a symbolic birth of a ‘new’ ego with beliefs that are now harmonious towards their society. The death and rebirth scenario is actually the death and rebirth of belief systems, so that the ego completely re-orientates itself to a new system of values[xii].
Such trauma can be precipitated in westerners by events such as getting married, starting a family or buying a house, or from major events such as severe illness, war, famine, etc. Such ego-crises result in a reassessment of the individual’s perspective on life. The individual’s ego is forced to undergo increasing levels of internalisation, differentiation, individuation and integration. The ego begins to re-evaluate ‘reality’ in increasingly resilient and durable forms – that is, it matures, as seen in rites of passage. An ongoing dialectical tension between separation from reality and reunion provides the driving force for ego maturity[xiii]. Conscious emotional effort is required by the individual to overcome fears of annihilation and usually involves a degree of psychic pain. Getting control of the ego leads to far more effective social behaviour, although there is no guarantee of maintaining control indefinitely and is usually seen as a life-long process of ego-tension[xiv]. In westerners, those unable to overcome the crisis are usually locked into ‘ego-stagnation.’ Such people are usually reluctant to change because of overwhelming annihilation anxieties and declare that they can’t change because ‘that’s how they are[xv].’ They normally exhibit defensive strategies of over-idealised values, neediness, obsessions, compulsions, persecution complexes and self-destructive tendencies.
Ego development is also
intimately connected with social identity (interconsciousness). A social
collective (Jung’s ‘collective unconscious’) appears to influence
individual ego functioning through sharing of these instincts (fighting against
a common enemy), needs (gathering food) and desires (social networks and
hierarchy). Contiguous with collective needs is the use of social imagery (e.g.
social vision of overcoming an enemy through strategic use of individual
skills). Individuals with greater imagery (stronger ego imagination) appear to
be more manipulative of social order and have greater leadership tendencies[xvi].
As we mature from childhood, we begin to segregate those parts of our ego which
we feel as vulnerable. If, during the course of childhood, we have learned that
vulnerability is something bad, the stronger aspect of our ego assume control.
When we meet someone who is more identified with vulnerability, our ego tends to
judge or react negatively to that person although at the same time we might feel
a strong attraction to the person. This basic rule of the psyche can be
expressed as follows:
‘The people in the world whom we hate, judge, or
have strong negative reactions toward are direct representations of our disowned
selves. Conversely, the people in the world whom we overvalue emotionally are
also direct representations of our disowned selves[xvii].’
From this, we could say that those people who invoke the strongest emotions within us, whether it be intense hate or love, are the most important catalysts for our emotional growth. Overcoming intense love is as important as relinquishing blind hatred. Neither are conducive to healthy psychological development. We need to develop a state of seeing the world that embraces what is being experienced without undue criticism or judgement as these tend to strengthen our egoism. The more we cling to experiences and judge them as good or bad, the more we identify with and cling to the ego.
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Most crucial in our understanding of the ego is its susceptibility to self-dialogue. Research with self-hypnosis have shown that positive ego states can be attained by the use of ego-strengthening, mental rehearsal, imagery coaching and active-alert trance states[xviii]. Self-hypnosis is used in a diversity of applications from enhancing sport performance in athletes to trauma recovery in sexual/physical abuse. Various techniques are used which aim to restore healthy ego-dialogue. Hypnosis, self-hypnosis, meditation, mantras, etc, have also been shown to reduced acute stress and post-traumatic symptoms that occur after physical or psychological trauma[xix].
The primary malaise of the ego is depletion, where its boundaries are brittle, fragmented or dissolved. As depletion advances, clinical symptoms appear such as anxiety, restlessness, undisciplined behaviour, aggressiveness and laziness. In advanced cases depletion leads to dystonia, where there is major aberrations in cognitive ability, motivation, self-regulation and will-power. Other symptoms also occur, such as depression, aberrant social behaviour, lack of self-assessment and in extreme cases, catharsis[xx]. A common German expression for ‘crazy’ means literally ‘not sealed.’ In severe psychoses (where people are usually said to have gone mad), the ego boundaries are non-existent; reality and illusion are one. The imagined world of our fears become so real that we are like the Titanic surrounded by an ocean of icebergs.
Eastern traditions (Hindu/Buddhist) understood the importance of the ego long before it was defined by psychoanalysts. The main objective of eastern traditions has been toward transcendence of the ego. The ego is seen as the cause of all emotional suffering and is meditatively destroyed through relationships of the meditator with animate and inanimate objects. Like the Vulcan ‘mind meld’ in Star Trek, the mind dissolves into everything and reaches a state of ‘emptiness’ or nothingness. Westerners see this condition of ‘emptiness’ as having negative connotations for the ego. Instead, modern psychoanalysis has reinvented the psychoanalytical wheel by constructing a ‘meeting of the minds’ approach[xxi]. This approach aims at fusing the individual’s ego body with other ego(s); essentially mirroring the approach of eastern philosophies.
Traditionally, westerners characterise the ego by its strength, and seek to develop superiority of mind to body - ‘fullness.’ Christian thinking is such that one lives by aligning oneself (ego) towards God, whereas Eastern philosophies have more circular reasoning (Nietzche’s ‘eternal repeat of the sameness’) where the individual egos is assimilated into one collective sea of egos. The prime objective of ego sublimation by Eastern traditions is the same as for western philosophies; ego sublimation and rapture with a universal mandala (the numinous father-figure, God, higher self, etc). This has the result of liberating us from all emotional dissatisfaction. This emotional quiescence (‘nirvana’, rapture, etc) results in the abolition of the fear of death (annihilation anxiety). Annihilation contentment (acceptance of death) rather than pushing the ego to suicide has the opposite effect, namely a heightened appreciation of the sanctity of one’s and other’s life. Implied by this is that the ego’s self-survival mechanisms can actually function like a governor on consciousness, imposing limitations to a ‘full’ and carefree life.
According to Jung, the ego, full
of distortions and projections, needs to be dissolved before the Self can
emerge. The Self, however, which is the totality of the psyche, includes the
ego. In the process of individuation one does not destroy the ego, rather one
places it in subordinate relation to the Self.The ego is no longer the centre of
the personality; the Self, which unites all opposites, is its centre. What is
dissolved is the inflated, concrete ego, pursuing its exclusive selfish
purposes, just following its own impulses.
‘Man has to cope with the problem of suffering. The
Oriental wants to get rid of suffering by casting it off. Western man tries to
suppress suffering with drugs. But suffering has to be overcome, and the only
way to overcome it is to endure it. We learn that only from him (the crucified
Christ).’[xxii]
But the path leading via the underworld to illumination, to the Self, is by no means an easy one. It requires the sacrifice of our most cherished possession, our ego, so that the Self can emerge. Similarly, Buddhists say the root of all suffering is attachment to ego, and they urge us to relinquish it, so that our true nature cam be revealed.
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However,
Jung repeatedly warns against releasing unconscious content within the psyche
without proper safeguards, as it may overwhelm consciousness, resulting in
serious psychosis. He compares the potentially explosive power of the archetypes
latent within the unconscious to that of the released atom, and say:
‘The
archetypes have this peculiarity in common with the atomic world, which is that
the more deeply the investigator penetrates into the universe of microphysics
the more devastating are the explosive forces he finds enchained there.’[xxiii]
It can be concluded then, that we should not attempt to commit suicide of the ego, rather that it is important to learn to let go of attachment to mental concepts, ideas and ideals that may only cause us problems in the future. We need our egos, as they are important to keep us functioning as a person. Perhaps the most important facet of understanding the anatomy of the ego is that intellectual performance has been shown to be dependant on a healthily functioning ego. When depleted by unresolved emotional issues, the intellect performs poorly at logic and reasoning, cognitive extrapolation (deduction) and reading comprehension, though not on general knowledge, memorisation or recall[xxiv]. This is critical to understand not only when it comes to maximising intellectual performance by students but for clinicians under emotional stress associated with work.
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